taking the blame

I just read about Noah's dislocated arm...and my heart went out to him and his mommy. It was a very touching post. I've always thought of Astrid as strong and capable. How could it be possible that such a woman could feel helpless and break down and cry? The reason was becoz she was a mother and it was for her son, Noah - whom i'm sure is still a "baby" in her eyes. It was also a post about whether or not to blame the maid (who had caused it to happen), blame oneself for not being more sensitive...and ultimately about believing and trusting in God.

This time that Joel is sick, i have to admit that part of me also blamed Ahyi for it. At least, she might have caused Joel to fall sick.

When i brought Joel to Gymboree on Sunday, i noticed some kids with flu...and i made sure that Joel didnt stand next to them in class. (Keke...) When we left the place, i also made sure to wipe his hands. Of course, i'm also guilty of giving in to him and letting him drink some Coke that day during lunch.

However, on Monday, i saw Ahyi playing bubbles with Joel on the balcony - out in the cold, probably slightly below 10˚C - wearing just his home clothes of a long-sleeve tee + home vest and home pants. I kinda got a shock! (Note: Joel's home clothes that day was similar to the picture on the right, but with a thinner home pants) She, on the other hand, was wearing the clothes she wore when she walked through my front door (i.e. her winter clothes). When she saw me walk out of the kitchen to the living room (i had been preparing Joel's food), she told me that Joel didnt want to wear his jacket. Immediately, what came to my mind was "Then you shouldnt have let him out!"...but i didnt say anything. I just called Joel to come back in. I also knew that lately, Joel is a little fussy when i put on his jacket for him. So i'm not going to jump at Ahyi and make a fuss out of it. I kept quiet and behaved as if it didnt matter.

That night itself, we took a cab to the dinner place which meant just hop in/out the cab...and Elvis & i noticed Joel had slight runny nose. The next day, it got worse and i had to bring him to the doctor.

Ahyi went with me to the doctor's since it was within her "working hour"...and i also thought that she might be able to help me out in case Joel acts up (like what he did at the Singapore PD's office). As usual, she was "impressed" with all the angmohs with their kids...and thinks it's a "good place". (The hospitals her son goes to only charges S$2-3 for consultation, less than S$10 per visit. That's 1% of what i'm paying!) Part of me also wanted her to know that she should be more careful in future becoz her carelessness caused me almost her month's salary - in medical fees!

I really dont know who to blame for Joel's flu... It could have been my fault... But i really felt like letting Ahyi know that it mattered to me that she made my child stand out in the cold! I really felt like telling her not to do it. Never again!